Recently I was in a discussion with someone who, like me, had started evaluating their life more often, the closer they came to age 50. He mentioned that while there are milestones he’s made in his life up to now, he looks at 50 as pivotal! He actually referred to turning 50 as being a “rebirth”. ( loved that definition of rebirth!). I found it interesting that for me, the closer I came to the golden age, the more upset I became that I had settled in EVERY area of my life! Nothing in my life was a choice I’d made willingly! Instead of living life intentionally, I’d fallen into it. For me, after I turned 45 I became increasingly aware that I was not where I wanted to be, and it really upset me. I’d spent half of my life doing either what other people wanted, cleaning up the messes I’d made, or letting other people talk me out of things I wanted to do. (WHY do we think other people are more of an expert on us, than we are on ourselves?).
It occurred to me that half of my life was over, and I felt like I didn’t have a lot of time left! Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing that makes me think my days are numbered. I just felt like I had a lot of catching up to do, and I didn’t have another 50 years to waste time! It’s funny how you settle but don’t even realize you’ve done it! I just remember thinking well, I can’t go back to the career choice I’d really wanted because if age didn’t get me, the physical limitations and the bunions would! (I am proud to say, however, that I am in better shape at 49, than I have EVER been in my entire life thanks to Weight Watchers!). I think mentally I just lost hope after my dream of working for the FBI was squashed. During the interview I was told that it was not the best job for single parents, as relocation took place an average of every two years. Becoming a Laywer and then eventually a judge wasn’t going to happen either. Having the funds wasn’t a reality, and neither was the the study time and focus it would require to pass the bar. Life causes detours when you have children before you have the career, but I’ve learned that doesn’t mean you have to give up hope like I did. I gave up hope, and just started living vicariously through CSI and the other crime shows. (my crime solving skills are awesome based on movies, lol). I did receive my B.S. Degree in Criminal Justice, but it did me no good when I moved to Arizona. When I learned I would make the same amount of money as someone working at McDonald’s (although the fries would have been considered an added BONUS!), I quickly gave up the idea of working in the field of my degree. I needed to be able to feed my kids so I just took any job that would allow me to care for my children and give them a better life.
Fast forward to the feeling of, there’s GOT to be more to life than THIS, which started around age 45. My time frame of figuring it out was age 50! I always set a timeframe for every goal as it is easy to be in the same place 10 years later, working on that same goal. For me, it just didn’t feel right to start the second half of my life with the same baggage I had in the first half! It was time to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up! That decision brought a lot of fear with it (Future Events Appearing Real is my favorite definition of fear!). I’d been at the current employer for so long that I didn’t have the skill set needed for all of the jobs I saw posted when I went in search of something better. Not only did I not have the skill set, I wasn’t excited about taking a $10 pay cut for something my heart just wasn’t into! I’d spent all my life in jobs I fell into! In those years, I just did what I had to do in order to raise my kids. My personal happiness was not a requirement! They came first.
Dave Ramsey has inspired me to make ALL of the last major changes in my life! (except weight loss, that was ALL me!). I listen to Dave almost daily and noticed quite a few callers had the same challenge I had last year! They wanted to change careers and pursue their passion, but they couldn’t afford to lose income. Finally Dave was SO fed up with this question,he went on a serious rant about WHY people felt they couldn’t have both? A career they were passionate about, AND generate enough income at the same time. He was actually angry because so many of us felt it was impossible to have both. Dave gave all of us deadbeats the tongue lashing we deserved. When he was done, there was no doubt in my mind that I couldn’t have both! He actually MADE me believe I could do it! In real life I believed it at that moment, but was afraid to act on it! All of the self doubt crept in as soon as his show went off.
It was an entire month later before I took action. I FINALLY got sick and tired of being sick and tired! The perfect storm hit. Him making me believe I could do it (after an entire YEAR of callers calling in with the same challenge), getting up at 3am after being exhausted from working the two other jobs the day before, and getting so angry at work that I wanted to walk out, but not being able to afford too. ( Mama always said don’t quit a job unless you have another one to go too!). That was the day I realized I couldn’t live this life any more (with crazy in the mix) and certainly not for another 15 years! If I died trying, at least I FINALLY took action and mustered up the courage to change ! I’m just going to say it, some people are crazy! The more I age, the less patience I have for crazy!
That very day I called and scheduled an appointment at the Southwest Institute of the Healing Arts! I didn’t even think school would fit my crazy, three job schedule. God had other plans! When it’s right, it’s easy. I started school in January to become a Life Coach! This was a 10 year old dream that I had given up on! I’m excited to say that I met my goal of deciding what I wanted to be by the time I turned 50. I turn 50 in July, I finished school in May! I am currently working on getting my Life Coach business off the ground, and looking forward to the next chapter in my life, for the first time in a LONG time!! Who says you can’t start living your dreams at 50! I have one piece of advice to offer. Don’t wait until you turn 50, to start living the life you deserve! Life can be golden at any age, if you just believe you deserve it and find The Courage To Shift (which I decided was the PERFECT name for my business!).