My spirit finally bludgeoned me into taking responsibility for becoming my authentic self. Until the takeover I focused more on being who others, and sometimes even who society thought I should be. I’ve not ever really been a follower, however, with a history of dysfunction I really didn’t know what my life should (or even could) look like. My energy was wasted reacting to life, rather than creating my destiny. Usually my questionable responses surfaced as a result of bad decisions made on my part. The opinions of others and sometimes even fear (future events appearing real) dictated my actions. As a result I’ve always felt like I was living on the edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Oftentimes it did because my focus was more on instant gratification than patiently waiting on answers which would lead me to my true purpose in life.
It wasn’t until my mid forties that I started to feel incomplete. Something was definitely missing, but I wasn’t sure what. I thought the timing was odd, and wondered if I were having a mid-life crisis. I’d always read about them in books, but am not sure I ever knew anyone that had experienced one. Everyone around me seemed to be struggling with life’s complexities regardless of their age! In the movies the husband going through the mid-life crisis always purchased a corvette and left his wife for another younger woman. They then drove off into the sunset and I we are to assume they lived happily ever after. I would imagine you and I both know better than that! I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a movie with a woman going through a mid-life crisis. Oftentimes a woman is portrayed in some sort of crisis regardless of her age!
In the beginning it was a small voice so subtle that I almost missed it. It said, “you were meant for more!”. I even remember where I was the first time I heard it! I was in my large walk in closet having a fashion melt-down! I shrugged the voice off and kept to my schedule for the day. Eventually the voice started coming more frequently during the week, and the pitch was louder each time it returned. It was if it were commanding me to listen, and finally take action. When I could no longer deny its existence, I did. Only then did I start my journey to realizing my authentic self. Thankfully I did not have to be bludgeoned to death, before I finally heard my calling.
I’ve attached a pretty cool quiz to help start the process of discovering YOUR authentic self!