“Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives. The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets. Judge not by their words, but accept advice based on the evidence of actual results. Do not be surprised should you find a complete absence of anything mystical or miraculous in the manifested reality of those who are so eager to advise you. Friends and family who suffer the lack of abundance, joy, love, fulfillment and prosperity in their own lives really have no business imposing their self-limiting beliefs on your reality experience.”
― Anthon St. Maarten
I love this quote. It’s beautifully said, and my favorite part is the very first line! “Never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives”. This is my truth! I’ve achieved major milestones in my life that others thought were not possible because they either hadn’t achieved it, or didn’t know anyone else that had. (son recently graduating from college debt free with an Engineering degree is one of them).
Here is my takeaway, which I have been successfully applying to my life for the last several years:
I don’t take financial advice from broke people
I don’t take weight loss advice from overweight people
I don’t take relationship advice from someone who can’t seem to keep one
I don’t take career advice from anyone that isn’t in a better position than I am currently in
To be perfectly transparent, I used to be one of those people who felt like I was an expert on everything! I’ve since learned that I am not, and for the most part I’ve managed to put a muzzle on it unless someone asks for my opinion (will probably always be a work in progress on this, but 90% better!). Occasionally my opinion slips out accidentally, and it’s usually when I have been in the same situation and major pain was the result. I didn’t just HEAR about it, I personally experienced it and was beat up as the result of my decision. Even so, I don’t claim to be an expert on anything other than my opinion.
Being a mother, it’s always challenging to keep my opinion to myself no matter how old my kids get. The dumber I think the decision is, the harder it is to keep my mouth shut! At least I now “realize” that just because I am their mother, doesn’t mean I am an expert on their lives. I didn’t believe that in the past.
Something I’ve learned about kids is that they never think their mothers are smarter than they are, in anything! Here’s the deal with my two adult sons. They are definitely smarter in technology than I am and my repeated questions make them want to jump off a bridge. Truth be told, I will ALWAYS have more smarts in the book of life! I’ve lived longer and have simply made more mistakes!
I have resolved this challenge with my adult children by keeping my opinion to myself as long as I can, only offering it when the dumb decision can potentially cost ME money. Once I give my opinion, I try really hard not to discuss it any longer. If they choose to follow their chosen path, I don’t finance stupid. Making that decision allowed more peace of mind for me. I allow them to suffer the consequences of their decisions in order to learn. Hopefully they take the message from the mess, and then come to me for advice in the future! If not, they will learn from experience just like I’ve had to do. Life is hard, and I eventually learned that I didn’t have to make all of the mistakes, I could learn from the mistakes of others.
I took a page out of Dave Ramsey’s book, “Opinions are like armpits, everyone has one and some of them stink!”.