Relationships are hard work. I have found that fear attached to truth is a major culprit. Telling the truth means to risk rejection, and most people really want to be loved deep down. Sadly, a lot of us are not motivated by just doing the right thing, but lying up front will cause major pain down the line as the truth begins to unfold. Which it will, it’s just a matter of time.
I view truth from a different perspective, however. Telling the truth up front gives the potential partner an option to accept me as I am, faults and all (which WE all have!), which lessens the amount of conflict later on down the line. There will always be conflict, but minimizing the drama is high on my list of priorities. The older I get, the less appealing drama becomes.
In the past, I’ve entered relationships unknowingly with partners who did not value the truth as I do. I’ve had to come up with a plan to help me decide when it is time to move on. The determining factor is when I consistently find myself fishing for answers in order to uncover the truth. Lies are a deal breaker for me. Truth be told, there is a possibility that trust will never be repaired (depending on the magnitude of the lie and the reason behind it) which brings an entirely new set of problems to contend with in the relationship. Either way, the damage is done.