A Powerful Lesson On Communication Via Author, Melissa Corter

Maze

I was initially a reluctant Facebook subscriber, conscious of more negative than positive online encounters. Family arguments evolved from behind closed doors to public forums, welcoming strangers to become part of the family dynamics and inappropriately taking sides. The most repugnant observation was the number of marriages that suffered thanks to old flames believing the grass was greener on the other side.  Even though they had already mowed that lawn in the past, they wanted to resod the old turf, hoping to create a better grade than they were currently rolling in. The reality is that once two people are joined, sharing space and combining lives is hard work, no matter who you are with. Navigating relationships successfully is like navigating a maze, you never know if you are headed in the wrong direction until you reach a dead-end. Unfortunately you could have been traveling for miles before you realizing you’d taken a wrong turn!

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The reason I finally conceded to joining the IN CROWD was because the majority of my associates were patrons and consistently flooded my inbox with annoying email invites. They appeared to have secretly joined forces in the conspiracy to get me on board, except they didn’t know each other. I basically caved to give my email server a break! Although joining left a bad taste in my mouth, I quickly realized that I had more control over the negative clutter than I initially thought. If I didn’t invite crazy in, I didn’t have to dine with it. If drama somehow eluded me and seeped in unexpectedly, I could politely ask it to vacate and not return. If that didn’t work, I’d need to pull out the big guns. I do possess them, having being born and raised in South Central but I only bring them out in emergency situations.

I am the type that believes I am more likely to arrive at my destination if I surround myself with others headed in the same direction. That means my Facebook feed has an abundance of Life Coaches, Positive Quotes, Entrepreneur insight, Weight loss, Aspiring Authors, Bloggers, etc. My goal is to continually learn, which means I need to connect with others so I don’t have to invite them into my home. I suffer from CHAOS, Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome. Yesterday I came across a fabulous post by Melissa Corter, sharing a personal experience on communication and her takeaway. Sharing it today.

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{True story, just happened 5 minutes ago} Sitting here in a coffee shop editing images and I cannot help but overhear a conversation next to me. A couple started talking about what they wanted to do, where they wanted to go hike in Sedona….it very quickly turned into an argument, what started as an adventure turned into anger and frustration.

Neither one of them felt heard….

Both of them wanted the same thing and were stuck in a cycle, not able to see that they both were trying to say the same thing in their own way…..

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My take away from this?

How can I be a better communicator and listener? How can I create the space for another human soul to speak up, share their opinion and experience without projecting my own?

In the midst of this, I took a breath…sent them both some love, and silently said thank you to my own spirit for the lesson. Then a miracle occurred (a shift in perspective) they hugged and agreed on the same hike, left the coffee shop holding hands ❤

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Neither one of them had to compromise, yet they did both need to pull back and listen more deeply and honor each other’s WAY of communicating to understand it was the same language. Only love is real, it is the only language that matters….Love will open your heart, your ears, and your eyes when you get out of your own way~

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5 thoughts on “A Powerful Lesson On Communication Via Author, Melissa Corter

  1. Kathy Bewley says:

    Love it….CHAOS…. it’s not that I don’t enjoy people; I do. I guess I just don’t enjoy them in my space….lol. I am struggling with the whole social media dilemma right now. Being content with my “alone-ness,” FB can be a source of information, humor, etc. However, it also brings out the lion hiding inside of me who would never snarl or claw at you if we were having a face to face conversation. Something about being drawn into a conversation with a stranger while hiding in anonymity that brings out the worst in us. Is my life truly enriched by the frustration I feel when I read posts that I disagree with? What demon inside of me decides that I must have the last word or opinion on an issue? Is this who I really am? I am considering having a FB vacation–can I live without it? OH NO! Am I addicted!? Can I survive by going back to reading books, writing (with a pen and a piece of paper, no less!!) a letter to a friend?! Will I be out of the loop if I don’t know the latest cute puppy or kitty trick I can only see on FB?? Do I even WANT to be a member of that loop?? And will my friends still be my friends if I do not wish them a Happy Birthday on FB? OY! The internet is a wonderful thing, but there must be a balance. It’s funny that this subject came up today–and just in case I don’t wish you a “happy birthday” via FB in the future–you will hopefully understand and know which direction I’ve gone! LOL…..

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s deep! If anything brings out a side of me that I don’t like, I remove them/it from my life. Doesn’t matter what it is. Funny, I don’t read most people’s posts and my associates always ask if I saw something they shared. I don’t get into politics nor so I care what other people are doing or even what they think. Facebook is an awesome connection for business owners, that’s always been my purpose. No worries about missing my birthday, friends on Facebook are not really friends. Acquaintances is a better word.

      Liked by 1 person

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