Meddling and motherhood are as natural a combination as breathing. Often we plow headfirst into the lives of our children without allowing them the dignity to make their own choices. When this occurs with adult children, we are usually making the wrong decision even though it might be for the right reason (coming from a place of love). We want to prevent their dance with the devil and the accompanying third-degree burns previously earned from our own private lessons.
It was hard to accept that I can’t possibly know what’s right for everyone else, even my own flesh and blood. Sometimes I might be certain I do and want to share against my better judgment (usually when it was a prior self-inflicted wound I’d survived), but I’ve learned making decisions based on emotions will lead to scar tissue for all parties involved. The best course of action (for me) is to allow the pain and consequences to occur, rather than to meddle and risk damage to our relationship. One thing for sure, pain can be an effective motivator!
What I felt was coming from love, was really a boundary issue. By not allowing children to make their own choices and suffer the consequences, I was really doing them a disservice.