Requirements For An Emotionally Healthy Marriage



I am a pessimist at my core and didn’t know exactly what I was searching for when I initially realized I was thirsty and began my quest for knowledge.  I’d squatted in a few churches over several years but always abandoned them after feeling our relationship was one-sided. When I am not growing, restlessness quickly sets in. I knew, however, that I would eventually make FCC my home after my first visit. Not only did I depart feeling more educated in the word than I have in my entire life (they are a bible teaching church), I was impressed with their mission to empower each and every member to be their very best. Those aren’t just empty words to pacify, there is an action plan behind it.


One of the ways FCC supports growth is by providing the education needed to give us the confidence to work through consequences. I was blessed to join in August (after dating them for two months to be sure I wasn’t committing too fast!), the month dedicated to health.  FCC had several prominent speakers (including an awesome Q@A forum during the service) that focused on Emotional, Physical, Spiritual and Financial health. Each speaker gave homage to God and then proceeded to blow our minds with truths broken down in ways they could not be denied. Today I am sharing the message on the four types of intimacy needed for a successful marriage, according to the Lifesong Counseling Center. As we say in Al-Anon, take what you like and leave the rest.



The four 4 types of intimacy needed for a successful marriage are Intellectual, Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual. In addition, I was surprised to learn that odds increase that one or both of the partners will reach outside of the marriage when all four are not present consecutively. Below are examples of each:

1. Intellectual-The way we connect with our logic- An example is discussing what happened during the day with your partner after you arrive home for the day.

2. Emotional-(not about logic) The example is sharing HOW your day impacted you. It’s letting someone in on a heart level and is harder because of your vulnerability. What stressed you, scared you, if you were lonely, etc. This type involves simply BEING (sitting with the person and listening). No suggestions are wanted, just the holding of space for them as they vent.

3.Physical-  You may not understand what they are going through and the only comment needed in this case is, (especially if this is true for you),  “I don’t even know what to say right now, but I’m glad you told me”. This is just physically BEING there without judgment or trying to fix it. 

4.Spiritual-Praying and studying scripture together


You might wonder where sex fits in? Don’t be alarmed, there is a place for it! Sex is considered a celebration of everything else so feel free to handle your business!


I only shared a small part, but this entire presentation was phenomenal! It was also right on time for me as I’ve recently returned to dating and although I thought I would never risk my heart again, my heart is once again open to marriage. If you would like to hear more of this message of the panelist from LifeSong Counseling Center, LLC. you can grab it on MP3 at:…/lifesong-counseling-panel…

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