2018 is almost here, with one full year of active dating under my belt. I’d previously created an online profile but did not engage in the process. Anxiety settled in my chest within the first ten minutes of sifting through profiles of potential matches. Having an unlimited amount of options might sound like a great idea, but is overwhelming in this arena! I began to devour thousands of articles on the do’s and don’ts of dating (taking what I like and leaving the rest) which helped contain the spread of the sheer terror experienced because I’d been out of touch for eons. This year I gave it a valiant effort, mainly because I hate to waste money and my membership was coming to an end. Occasionally I share nuggets of wisdom for others risking rejection within this intense game of chess, but are still unsure of the perfect combination of winning moves. This article is a favorite simply because it was a fun read!
The Best Tried-&-True Flirty Texts To Send To Your Crush ..
by: .. Sophie Saint Thomas .. Refinery29 ..
What do you call a text message that’s flirty, but not yet a sext? A flext? Text message flirting can be just as scary as in-person flirting. First off, you need to suss out whether or not your crush is at least mildly interested in you before you blow up their phone. “You know your crush is receptive to flirting if he or she is responsive,” says Barbara Greenberg PhD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in family and relationship issues. Look into the eyes of the one you are flirting with. They speak volumes.” If you’re mostly limited to texting or online messaging, Dr. Greenberg confirms what many of us already know: More than likely, your crush is into you if they carry on the conversation and respond without too much of a lag time.
01 .. “You, me, dinner at 7. Let’s go.” .. Why it works: Sometimes you just want to cut right to the chase. Own your confidence and let your crush know it’s time for a date, ASAP. Do your research and plan something they’re sure to love, and hopefully plenty more dates will follow.
02 .. “What are you passionate about?” .. Why it works: Use this one when you want to go a little deeper. Share your passions to really get to know your crush on a personal level. This way, you can start establishing a stronger emotional connection and find out all the important things you have in common.
03 .. “Just worked out, ready to hit the showers!” .. Why it works: A post-workout text is a classic way to get your crush thinking about you in some steamier situations. You might be getting clean, but the conversation doesn’t have to be.
04 .. “My dog/cat misses you!” .. Why it works: Almost no one can resist the cuteness of an adorable pet Snap (which would obviously accompany this text). Let your crush know they’re on your mind without the sappiness of a traditional, “I miss you.” Send this when you subtly want to let them know they should come over — first to see your pet, but most importantly to hang with you.
05 .. “So where are you taking me tonight?” .. Why it works: Sick of an indecisive bae or wanting to break up a monotonous “Netflix and chill” cycle? Send this to someone you’ve seen a few times to mix things up and get a sense of what they do to have fun. Let them know you’re not taking “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” as an answer.
06 .. “Wanna skip class/work and hang out with me instead? ;)” .. Why it works: No, your crush might not actually leave their responsibilities behind, but your spontaneity will get them to at least consider it. The fact that you’d brazenly ask them to blow off their day paired with a tongue-in-cheek winking emoji lets them know you’d push boundaries to see them.
07 .. “Tell me a secret. .. “Why it works: Save this for a late-night exchange when you both have each other’s full attention. We all know texting into the wee hours of the morning can get pretty open — take a chance and ask your crush to spill. It gives them a way to play the shy card and give in to telling you how badly they want you without feeling too forward (hey, you asked). Besides, if they opt for a secret that doesn’t lean sexually, that still breeds intimacy.
08 .. “You know you miss me.” .. Why it works: If you’re feeling pretty solid about where you stand with your cutie in question, this message has just the right amount of bordering-on-arrogant spunk to make them blush. Confidence is attractive — if you’re sure of yourself, they will be, too. How can they say no?
09 .. “Let’s cut the crap and go out already.” .. Why it works: As Dr. Greenberg said, if your crush has been responding to your texts, they’re likely interested in you. Cute and original messages are a very fun way to prolong conversation and build up hot sexual tension. But do you know what’s also hot? Cutting the crap and simply asking your crush out. Confidence is sexy. If you’re feeling bold, there’s often benefit in getting straight to the point.
10 .. “This song reminds me of you.” .. Why it works: If you send your crush a song that makes you think of them, they’ll listen to the track and analyze the lyrics for days. Not only is sending someone a song you enjoy a thoughtful act of flirtation, but music opens the conversation floodgates — it’s fun to talk about what you like and don’t like. And who knows? Maybe your crush will send you a song back.
11 .. “Guess what I’m imagining.” .. Why it works: The key to a successful flirty text is constructing one that creates a conversation. While a cute and simple “picturing you naked ;)” isn’t always in poor taste, it may leave your crush a little confused about how to reply. Even if they’re not responding because they’re nervous, it doesn’t feel good to have a message go unanswered. By sending this text, you’re hinting that you’re indeed imagining them in a racy way — but you’re keeping things mysterious and opening up a conversation. After some coy back-and-forth messaging, you might just land a date. Oh, and including a cute selfie with this text won’t hurt, either.
12 .. “You made an appearance in my dream last night.” .. Why it works: This suggestive message lets your crush know that you’re interested in them while also hinting at sex (hey, you’re telling them about what you do in bed). Pro tip: Don’t tell them what happened in the dream so you can keep them guessing and intrigued. And of course, feel free to send this one even if your dream wasn’t actually about them.
13 .. “How was your day? I just got home and am finally relaxing.” .. Why it works: This is a great text to send in the early stages of a crush or courtship, as it shows you care and are thinking of them, but isn’t directly sexual (though the “relaxing” bit is certainly suggestive in a good way). It’s a great one to send during the week after you know your crush has had a long day, since most people love to talk about themselves. Plus, it’s an open-ended question that encourages conversation, which is always preferable to a “yes or no” answer. And in this case, that involves talking about how you both like to unwind (which is, again, suggestive).
14 .. “How about we move this conversation to IRL?” (IRL= in real life) .. Why it works: If you’ve just been flirty texting and haven’t officially gone out yet (and all is going well), this text is the perfect way to land a date. Sure, you’re flirting, but you’re also being straightforward and asking for what you want. Have a list of date ideas ready to throw out just in case — that could mean anything from drinks at an intimate bar to a daytime hike to a movie and take out at your place, so no pressure to come up with anything too complicated.
15 .. “I want to experience you.” .. Why it works: Save this work of art for when you’re confident your flirting partner is down to bone. A friend who was obviously about to turn into more than that sent this to me in college, and we were shortly having sex multiple times in the span of a few hours. This text gets straight to the point: You want to have sex with them. However, rather than make it vulgar or about their body, you’re demonstrating that you’re interested in them as a person. This one’s definitely not for everybody, but with the right person it could be.