Upon re-entry into the complex world of dating, I began to educate myself on “all things men”. It had been five years post-divorce and I was as shocked as my friends when my spirit said, “it’s time!”. I had never planned to retrace my steps, feeling I wasn’t cut out for relationships. More than once, my “I DO’s” became “I DID” and year 5 always eluded me even though a study from 2013 (Today.com) promotes it as most challenging (https://www.today.com/parents/many-couples-struggle-fifth-year-marriage-study-I548000). Kids and career demand the couple’s attention and the state of bliss is shoved to the back-burner as the realities of life begin to sink in.
While many of the male/female challenges still mirrored those initiated as a result of the females entry into the workforce, lack of communication still took center stage. My mindset, however, had gone under reconstruction which meant I needed a different approach. I inhaled a degree’s worth of information & couldn’t understand why couples still struggled with so much insight now available. Perhaps it’s like the key to weight loss, which took four attempts before I was able to unlock and finally shed another person. A loss maintained twelve years now. The blueprint was always provided but read like a foreign language. Dating seemed to be the same. MY internal blueprint needed to be unlocked BEFORE I could understand the external blueprint.
It’s been three years and while I’m still conducting research, it has taken on a new identity. As I journeyed through the process the type of relationship needed was narrowed down, which caused an abrupt about-face! I’ve learned by experience that my HE needs to be a mental, emotional and more importantly, spiritual equal. Focus is now on successful Christian relationships, something never experienced (which means I’ll earn the equivalent of a Ph.D. when done). I’ve been shocked into silence many times as I’ve been educated on the importance of God’s role in relationships. Almost impossible to do since blessed with the gift of gab, lol.
Today I’m sharing a YouTube ministry tripped over several months ago that I’m still digesting because it resonated so intensely with my life. No matter how painful/disappointing life, crying was something I didn’t have time for. My lack of tears was considered a symbol of strength. That also includes an absence of waterworks in the presence of death. A few years back I broke my own record and cried two days in a row, from the same movie….cartoon. Maybe Inside Out touched my soul in a way real life doesn’t.
Feel free to share your thoughts, and I’ll provide the major takeaway for me. There is no wrong or right, I’m simply fascinated!
“Women have been robbed of our femininity because we have been saddled with masculine pressures (concerns regarding the couples finances, futures, perspective and daily provisions). That is NOT to say that women can’t handle the issues of life because we have proven it time and time again. Especially when we have no option. She is designed to be the HELPMEET of the male and has been robbed of her femininity. A woman involved with an addicted, distracted, or undecided partner doesn’t have time to cry and the by-product is infirmity, attitude, and/or self-negligence. Long story short, we don’t have time to cry when we are carrying the load.”
What say you?