According to ADOT, defensive driving skills save lives, time, and money, in spite of the conditions around you and the actions of others.” I find dating to be a lot like defensive driving. My goal is to stay in my personal lane, but I also have to multi-task (dangerous while driving!) and watch out for the others that can drive into my lane and be wreckless without awareness. It’s an acquired skill to make decisions based on actions, and not on words. If I am successful at that, I am also saving HIS life, MY time, and MY money. It’s a win-win for both of us.
After years of working on my own baggage, I have courageously dipped my one good toe in the dating world (one, thanks to a bunionectomy a few years ago). Like many women, I have not made the best choices in partners and am definitely not a fan of the baggage and skid marks poor decision-making have left behind. Like a fine wine I am getting better with age and this time I am careful not to choose a partner that is unmoored. I’ve worked to hard to become the person I am proud of being today. It took years to finally learn what I am worth, and settling is no longer an option. I’ve got my list, and I’m checking it twice!!
I used to be notorious for saying,”It’s Just The Way I Am”! Those six evil words create barriers between myself and my goals, no matter what they are. In fact, I would venture to say that the phrase is detrimental not only to my health, but they also limit growth within the areas I need it the most.
Relationships suffer and doors of opportunity close when I am unwilling to embrace the possibility that my ancient ways of thinking might require a tune-up. It took time, but I finally learned the value of constructive criticism. I now take the message from the mess and move on! It is no longer acceptable to say “it’s just the way I am”.