Dating Versus Courting-Allen Parr

In recent months I’ve noticed many women struggling to recover from heartbreak, and it’s disturbing that ownership isn’t taken. The partner and even God goes on trial for the failure and is found guilty. Future dates pay for their mistakes, and for some, God is even abandoned. I’ve done a ton of research (for my own benefit) after returning to the world of dating at age 50, but rarely offer advice. Listening to wisdom seems as old school as bell-bottomed jeans, even though we all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

However, I continue to share valuable information on my blogs for others who like me, understands I was the only constant in the death of all relationships. My secret to success was researching why I would repeatedly bulldoze past an army of red flags to date potential. Once I figured that out, I became successful in my singleness. Today’s share is a mic drop on dating.  It could be painful, but if it resonates with you, feel free to share! 

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Starting a Sentence With Because Posted on July 10, 2014, by Chris Maynar

Writing a book is emotionally exhaustive and extremely challenging while adulting. In my mind, I saw myself carving out several hours per day to make this happen prior to signing the contract. How time-consuming and difficult can it be to share the facts of a life already lived? Especially when characters and dialog aren’t necessary.  I’ve learned writing an autobiography isn’t as easy as imagined. The reality is that several jobs, and the responsibility of dealing with the crises of life (as a single entity) when they occur, extended a one-year contract into three. My issues are never as simple as breaking a fingernail, or a flat tire. They always require major attention and mental energy that halts creativity for an uncomfortable period of time. I’ve abandoned the either/or thinking, that I can’t be Mrs. Fix It and write at the same time. Someone suggested I put the book on the shelf until life settles down, but quitting isn’t an option. Life has always been a fist fight so there’s no need to wait for the perfect time to cultivate an idea on my heart. Especially when I know the vision was downloaded for a reason. My sons story on mental illness needs to be heard for several reasons, so I’ll keep plugging along. I choose to stay away from the comparison trap and take the challenges as they come. I’ll get there when I get there. For the last two days, my mind has been in overtime on whether the writing police would consider starting a sentence with because legal or not. Finally annoyed with the amount of time spent on this brainfart, I googled the question. There were a variety of responses but this piece was pretty comical. In spite of wasted research, I decided to start my sentence with “because” simply because I want too, lol…

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I’m going to be honest with you, there are some grammar rules that I really don’t care about. Actually, there’s a lot of them. Really, most of them. That being said, sometimes it’s important to know and follow the rules, because other people care about them no matter how silly they are.

And so, today, we are going to examine one of the sillier rules of grammar: whether you can or cannot start a sentence with “because”. A lot of people will say that you can’t start a sentence with “because” and be using “proper” grammar. While it is true that starting a sentence with “because” is usually “incorrect”, it’s only because it results in an incomplete sentence. Thus, sometimes you can start a sentence with “because” and still be in the clear. Let’s dive right in, shall we?

“Because” is a subordinating conjunction. A subordinating conjunction is a word that joins two clauses, one of which is independent and one of which is dependent. I know that’s a lot of jargon, but basically what we’re looking at is this: we have a sentence with two parts, and “because” joins them together. The two parts have to be in the same sentence for the use of “because” to be “correct”. Otherwise, one of the clauses becomes a sentence fragment, which is a problem.

The reason you can’t usually start a sentence with “because” is because the sentence needs two parts for because to join together. Usually, “because” goes in between the two clauses, so if we start a sentence with “because” there is often only one clause in the sentence. Put simply, if “because” is in a sentence, the sentence needs two parts to be “correct”. Let’s look at an example.

We decided to go to the pool because it was hot outside.

The two clauses we are looking at are “We decided to go to the pool” and “it was hot outside”. “Because” links them together and makes them friends. Let’s look at what would happen if we were to split the sentence up into two.

We decided to go to the pool. Because it was hot outside.

Now that the two clauses are in different sentences, “because” can’t really join them together. The clauses can’t be friends and now they’re lonely, making the second sentence “incorrect.”

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. There is a circumstance in which we can start a sentence with “because” and not be violating any silly rules. If we start a clause with “because”, then insert a comma, and then a second clause, then both of the clauses are in the same sentence and everyone is safe. As an example:

Because it was hot outside, we decided to go to the pool.

Since both of the clauses are in the same sentence, they aren’t lonely and the sentence is technically “correct”.

So, there it is. Those are the circumstances under which you can and cannot start a sentence with because. It’s definitely a silly rule, and it’s not one that I would personally be strict about. That being said, I hope this was informative. If you want some more information, here are some resources that may be able to explain it a little better than I did:

 


4 thoughts on “Starting a Sentence With Because”

  1. It’s hard to take your grammar advice seriously, when your article is full of grammatical errors. It is not proper grammar to put commas and periods outside of quotation marks as you do repeatedly. For instance your, “If we start a clause with ‘because’, then…” should instead be “If we start a clause with ‘because,’ then…”

  2. Try this: 1) Purdue University “Online Writing Lab” (OWL) at https://owl.english.purdue.edu/. Impeccable; concise; correct English grammar (and you learn MLA, APA, Turabian paper formats for your college paper)
    2) Fowler & Aaron’s “The Little, Brown Handbook” (Pearson Publishing 10th – thru Present Edition–Perfection)
    3) W. Strunk’s “The Elements of Style” (Unlike the clown who wrote this article, English grammar is not “silly.”)
    4) Pick up ANY Merriam-Webster paper bound dictionary. English grammar “rules” and the proper use of “because” in a sentence is printed in virtually every copy within the first 22 pages, depending on which edition you get, or use. Avoid learning English grammar from anyone, student, professor, clown, psycho, et.al., who “claims” to teach you English grammar, and loads how much they loathe all those rules and virtually never uses them as an authority on English grammar.

  3. It is very interesting that you used “Since” and not “Because” in this sentence in the end of this article: [Since both of the clauses are in the same sentence, they aren’t lonely and the sentence is technically “correct”].

     

Does Size Matter?

Although only twenty donated to my campaign and the dedicated team less than 8, my nonprofit, DSquared Homes For The Homeless, is finally in creation! I ‘m extremely proud, but also a realist. The road ahead will be paved with more setbacks than wins as I fight an ideology surrounding mental illness that has been around since the days of Ronald Reagan. I have, however, suited up and put on my big girl panties! 19989268_1275573345882386_2791726709142629836_n

While supporters’ believe mental toughness is a superpower for me, I’ve simply learned marinating in situations nourishes feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. The minute I take action, no matter how small, my mindset immediately experiences a certain level of peace and this experience is no exception. The emotions behind my son living in his car are compounded by the fact that although debt-free, I can’t provide shelter while he cycles through this current season of psychosis. My home isn’t an option because he isn’t med compliant, and I’m not privy to the conversation he has with the entities in his head. I do know their influence can be detrimental to his future, and my safety. The upside is that recovery is possible with a committed support system and resources, which is the goal of my nonprofit. I finally decided my only option was to step out on faith since it doesn’t come with a price tag. A major takeaway from my journey to financial freedom is that problems can’t be solved by creating debt, which is why I didn’t mortgage my home to save my son.

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I wasn’t expecting ANY donations at all because neither mental illness nor homelessness is a priority for society.  Normally I research something TO DEATH, sometimes years before making a move! The plan this time was to take the first step and watch it unfold. That was totally outside of my comfort zone, but I wasn’t disappointed! Not only am I almost legal, but Godaddy has also reached out and offered their services to carve out a spot on the world-wide-web and my appointment is March 17th! Although I have a long way to go, at the end of the day,  size didn’t matter! izkc1roc-share-godaddy-email-marketing

Gofundme Static!

A few weeks back, I was compelled to create a Gofundme page. My goal is a non-profit that will initially offer housing grants, and later an Independent Living home (when funds allow) that will house 3-4 clients (active in recovery and employable) for one year. I’m aware people will judge my audacity to request their cold hard cash, which inspired today’s blog. However, since I can’t pay my bills with the opinions of others, I try not to let them set the tone of my life. Today, however, I was surprised by the static received from someone familiar with my level of integrity, discipline, and who watched me bust my arse for 7 years (3 jobs consecutively, full-time job starting at 4AM!) to get out of debt, post-divorce. My refusal to use credit as a platform to make a difference for others inspired my fundraising attempt. Once DSquared, Homes For The Homeless is legal, normal fundraising and the grant writing process will begin. Based on some of the other popular campaigns (many unrelated to changing lives), I have nothing to lose.

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The average mind should conclude I learned a little sumthing-sumthing about money management and planning ahead during my 7-year debt free journey. I still have the scar tissue to prove it! So I was quite annoyed to see his public post on my private 501c3 Facebook page suggesting I don’t have a plan and shouldn’t create a nonprofit until I do. He then private messaged me (as the entire conversation should have been) that he’s withholding his donation (that I never asked for) for that reason. His closing statement was, “I hope you aren’t mad”. He filled in the blanks incorrectly from partial information. I was disappointed because I’m not THAT person whose self-worth is connected to how many “likes” I receive on social media. As a matter of fact, my page is more about self-improvement and reality checks. I’ve also learned that confidence is quiet. As such, I don’t announce when I pay a strangers phone bill, give to families in need, or donate to charitable causes because giving (kindness) isn’t a competition. When I share something personal, it’s for a strategic reason. For example, I was divorced four years before I posted the mic drop about my single status on FB. As a volunteer coach at a Divorce Clinic, it made sense to establish a connection with possible clients.

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My mature side understands I don’t have to agree with my friends to respect them. The pissed off side decided to blog it out of my system. Especially since I have a plan, a Board of Directors (5 and I only need 3) which includes TWO grant writers, and others offering support however they can around busy schedules.  A few small business owners have offered to assist with creating the nonprofit social media page, marketing, and finalizing with my formal business plan, for FREE.  I only share info with donators because they should know where their money is going. Every decision and conversation doesn’t need to be a national broadcast. I’m also proud that my donations are at $1300. Not a lot, but still exciting because I expected nothing. Two financial supporters have never met me personally, simply decided my cause was worthy. The others are more recent acquaintances, not long term relationships as I would have expected. No one in my family and most of my friends have not contributed. Truthfully, when the vision is God’s the funding will come.  Knowledge of that fact is why my friend’s comment didn’t cause a major meltdown, lol!

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On Sundays after church, I visit the park and place an affirmation of love on my son’s car. He refuses to speak to me, but it’s important to let him know I love him. He wasn’t at his car today ( a bit of a relief because his anger isn’t always easy to digest), so I took a stroll because it’s such a beautiful day. I came across a homeless man sleeping on a hard picnic table with only a pillow for comfort. From a distance, he could have been my son. He wasn’t, but the only difference between the two is that my son has a car providing partial shelter. He is, however, someone’s son and possibly a father. I wondered if his family knew where he slept, or if he were even alive. I know where my son’s car is, but I haven’t seen or heard from him weeks. Each time the phone rings from an unknown number, my heart stops. My photo captures only a speck of the homelessness/mental illness crisis in Arizona. There are over 36,000 homeless souls alone in Arizona and studies show six percent of those suffer from a mental illness. I believe that number is much higher as a brain disorder can be hidden for quite a while. Even doctors couldn’t determine when my son was hearing voices, but I could. I can’t unsee the devastation experienced because of my own family dynamics so NEED to be a part of the solution. It won’t be easy, but nothing worth having is ever without a huge sacrifice. Thanks for listening to my rant! If you aren’t afraid of judgment, please share my link. I promise I have a plan  🙂

              Mental Illness Housing Initiative https://www.gofundme.com/mental-illness-housing-initiative?pc=tw_dn_cpgntopnavlarge_r&rcid=r01-155165750463-d21c7540c3bb484d

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Faith Christian Center’s Movies and Musings month!

Almost two years in, I’m still experiencing the honeymoon phase at my life-altering place of worship, Faith Christian Center. Their method of teaching is innovative and perfect for today’s short attention spans. The motto is to “change the way people see church”, and FCC meets you wherever you are. Our three services (8am,10am, 12pm) are streamed online (awesome so I can watch from work on Sunday or Wed night) and enjoyed from many states and several countries! Which is a true testament to how A-MA-ZING they are!

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February is movie month, which I’ve nicknamed movies and musings because a powerful word happens between each 10-minute snippet. If there in person, popcorn and drinks are provided for free as you enter the main sanctuary, thoughtfully decorated like a movie theater, lol. Our first phenomenal showing was Woodlawn, the second Collateral Beauty, which I’ve attached the link for. Our First Lady provided a powerful message (and testimony) between each scene related to Time, Death and Love. maxresdefault (58)

Message From Ericka Moore:

Need wisdom on how to respond to a death of a loved one, death of a dream, or loss of an opportunity? Ever been so hurt you thought you could never love again? Ever been frustrated with your life because it seems you’re in a race against time to see all of your potential realized? Then you need to watch my teaching from last night’s teaching at Faith Christian Center “At the Movies.”

https://fcc-phx.com/sermons/recent-sermons/?fbclid=IwAR23yOV5STwzcHWiNsMN-MsJ5CZBxEsMVd9KFGq11oQ6DF7TDzGsr3irU1o&jwsource=cl

Life According To Danielle Sapore

 

A 20 something young lady posted this blog on Facebook. Age is relevant because her words are the wisdom of someone with much more life under their belt. I could have written this blog verbatim (except the too friendly comment), but not prior to my mid-forties. The journey to self-acceptance took YEARS for me and at 52, I’m still too much for some and I’m fine with that. As Dave Ramsey says, “you can’t pay your bills with other people’s opinions”. I believe the majority of people never come close to reaching this level of maturity.  Living in the shadows seems like a contagious disease that requires a special serum for those not born with an immunity. Authenticity is not for the weak-minded. It requires courage because rejection is imminent, and a lifelong journey if you stay true to who you are as the world revolves around you.


Meet Danielle S.

I have spent my ENTIRE life being told I’m too much. Too loud, too talkative, too outgoing, too ambitious, too friendly (is that even a thing?). Too much. Too much. Too much. 🔈

Wanna know how I responded to it? I believed them. For most of my life, I lived as half. I dimmed my light so it wouldn’t shine too bright in other people’s eyes. I quieted my voice so it wouldn’t shake people and their insecurities. I lived as half of the person I truly am because so many people couldn’t handle the whole me. 🗯

And dang, did they miss out or what? 😂 I mean seriously, think about it, what a huge injustice to myself and the people who need all of me. Nelson Mandela once said, “as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” Is your own light shining? Are you giving people permission to let theirs shine? 

It took me a heck of a long while to be confident in all of me and all of who I am, and if you’re traveling down that same hard road, I encourage you to remember one thing – “You will be too much for some people. Those aren’t your people.” 👋🏼

The world needs ALL of you. Your people need all of you. 👉🏼 YOU need ALL of YOU. 👈🏼

The Six Attributes of Courage; Melanie Greenberg Ph.D. The Mindful Self-Express (2012)..

Courage is something that everybody wants — an attribute of good character that makes us worthy of respect. From the Bible to fairy tales; ancient myths to Hollywood movies, our culture is rich with exemplary tales of bravery and self-sacrifice for the greater good. From the cowardly lion in The Wizard of Oz who finds the courage to face the witch to David battling Goliath in the Bible, to Star Wars and Harry Potter, children are raised on a diet of heroic and inspirational tales.

Yet courage is not just physical bravery. History books tell colorful tales of social activists, such as Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela, who chose to speak out against injustice at great personal risk. Entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs and Walt Disney, who took financial risks to follow their dreams and innovate are like modern-day knights, exemplifying the rewards and public accolades that courage can bring. There are different types of courage, ranging from physical strength and endurance to mental stamina and innovation. The below quotes demonstrate six different ways in which we define courage. Which are most relevant to you?

In the last section, I present an exercise to help you define and harness your own courage.

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1)  Feeling Fear Yet Choosing to Act

“Bran thought about it. ‘Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?’ ‘That is the only time a man can be brave,’ his father told him.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Fear and courage are brothers. — Proverb

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid. — L.Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Being terrified but going ahead and doing what must be done—that’s courage. The one who feels no fear is a fool, and the one who lets fear rule him is a coward. ― Piers Anthony

Courage is about doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared. Have the courage to act instead of react.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

(2) Following Your Heart

“Passion is what drives us crazy, what makes us do extraordinary things, to discover, to challenge ourselves. Passion is and should always be the heart of courage.” ― Midori Komatsu

And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement speech, June 2005

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.
 — Soren Kierkegaard

“It takes courage … to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ― Marianne Williamson, “Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of ‘A Course in Miracles'”

 

3) Persevering in the Face of Adversity

When we are afraid we ought not to occupy ourselves with endeavoring to prove that there is no danger, but in strengthening ourselves to go on in spite of the danger. — Mark Rutherford
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. — Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882)

Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them — Orison Swett Marden (1850-1924)

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the   day that says I’ll try again tomorrow. — Mary Anne Radmacher

“Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” — Mark Twain

(4) Standing Up For What Is Right

Sometimes standing against evil is more important than defeating it. The greatest heroes stand because it is right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives. Such selfless courage is a victory in itself ― N.D. Wilson, Dandelion Fire

Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes — Maggie Kuhn, Social Activist

From caring comes courage. — Lao Tzu

Anger is the prelude to courage. ― Eric Hoffer

(5) Expanding Your Horizons; Letting Go of the Familiar

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. — Lord Chesterfield

“This world demands the qualities of youth; not a time of life but a state of mind, a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the life of ease.” ― Robert F. Kennedy

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. — Anais Nin

(6) Facing Suffering  With Dignity or Faith…

 “There is no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bear witness that a man has the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” — Frank

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. — Aristotle

Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage. — Jean Anoulh

A man of courage is also full of faith. — Marcus Tullius Cicero

See article for courage exercise:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201208/the-six-attributes-courage