It’s no secret that I believe successful dating is learned! Thinking back to conversations I had with my mother, not one included how to choose a partner. Anyone I chose, she accepted. Acceptance can be great in the right arena, but acceptance of people and ideas that are not good for us is detrimental to our future. Based on what I’ve learned since starting research at age 50 (after a few divorces but it’s never too late to learn), none of my partners was a good fit, and my life reflects that. That doesn’t mean there was abuse, there never was, but because success was never modeled, I settled at choosing one level up from my mother’s choices. There was violence in her dating, and since I knew what it looked like, I knew I didn’t want it. I’ve learned someone can be nice, and still not a good fit. Now I’m armed with the knowledge I didn’t have before. Not only do I have a realistic list of what my partner looks like, but I’m also comfortable in the wait.
Today’s share is a Tedtalk on skills for healthy relationships, and I’ve shared a few of her pointers for those in a time crunch!
Skills-based model for relationship functioning/Romantic Competence
1.Insight- Awareness (including who you are), understanding and learning
2. Mutuality- Knowing both partners have needs, equally important.
3. Emotion Regulation Regulating feelings in response to uncomfortable feelings in the relationship.
Though I’m still in the discovery phase of my mission, offering partial housing grants to the homeless/mentally ill population engaged in recovery, I’ve raised exactly enough funds (via Gofundme) to create my non-profit. My long-term goal is Independent Housing for those that need temporary shelter while getting back on their feet, but I will start with offering partial housing grants. That means the client will be required to have a job and consistently taking their meds. I’m not in the business of enabling. I’ve also finally come up with a name that feels right, D-Squared: Homes For The Homeless. The D squared came about because it represents the first and last name of my son.
My nonprofit is in honor of him, my goal is advocacy and education. I don’t know whether my son is alive or not, but what I do know is that I’m tired of feeling helpless and hopeless, and NEED to do something. It doesn’t matter how large that population is, if I can help even 1, I will. There’s a huge stigma surrounding mental illness (which includes depression), and it’s so strong that even my friends/family aren’t open to sharing my link. It’s as if the words mental illness will jump off the link and become a permanent fixture in their lives. I get it, however, and my mission will continue in spite of others. I know I’ll meet supporters along with way because 1 in 5 adults are diagnosed with mental illness. That means most of us have a child, sibling or parent walking with a mental illness that is controlling their lives. I can’t wait to meet you!
My challenge is the best way to proceed, Foundation or Non-Profit. There’s so much info out there, that I’ve decided to ask for help on social media from those who actually run a non-profit or have first-hand knowledge. The average quote for starting a non-profit in AZ is $1100, combining the tax-exempt status and processing of paperwork. Others have written they’ve completed their own non-profit paperwork for half the cost, but that COULD be state specific. I’ve also been told (and have read) hiring an attorney is needed, others say it isn’t necessary until I have enough funds for them to manage. I prefer the status of a 501c3 because that tax-exempt status will seduce major players as I grow, but I need to be sure I’m starting from a place of strength. I already have a strong board in place to assist my vision, which includes grant writers are friends walking with mental illness that are willing to share their perspective! Slowly but surely, I’ll get there!
I’m looking for knowledge on Foundation versus Non-Profit, and if not afraid, please my link! (I’m NOT looking for someone to create the non-profit, I already have that). Sharing is caring!
Payday Friday and you have a ton of money to spend but not enough places to spend it? If not, consider donating $10 (I’ll accept more!) to my mental illness housing campaign! If you’re living from paycheck to paycheck, I’ll still accept donations to my worthy cause, lol ! I was pissed off and into action when my son was $40 short of qualifying for a special housing program and it was against the rules for me to provide the $40 because I wasn’t the client. My housing program will offers grants to the mentally ill homeless population engaged in their recovery and able to work. My goal is to support and empower, not enable! I need help getting it off the ground, and have already received $920.00! That might not sound like a lot, but it’s $919 more than what I expected!
1 in 5 adults is diagnosed with some form of mental illness, which means we are all touched by it in some way. Know anyone suffering from depression who’s life could be a lot better with just a little help, but they aren’t receiving the support they need?
Please remember to SHARE!
The Kindred Spirits met in life are truly much more than just best friends we make during our time here. We connect at different levels of the consciousness. These connections can run through many lifetimes and shared soul lessons. These people are the touchstone of our purposes, the ones who help to give us energy, light, unconditional love and compassion. Finding a Kindred Spirit can save your life. It can be a friend, family member or even a beloved pet. We have pieces of puzzles that fit together when we find each other. Their light in our lives make us shine a little brighter.
1. They can challenge you spiritually and make you reach higher.
Learn the difference between someone who challenges you and someone who is unhealthy for you. There can be a lot of missed opportunities for soul growth if we give up too soon! Some people really are here to teach us patience when we want to walk away. Many have a soul agreement with someone to help us on our spiritual journey, testing us in ways we have never been tested. Once we learn how to heal and evolve the situation; it morphs, we change, and we become unstuck. Our view of the next life task becomes much more positive with every soul accomplishment.
2. The positive energy field around them connects to yours. They emit the same frequencies.
Your inner self knows Kindred Spirits are important to your life here. The knowing says they have a purpose to fulfill in a positive way. You feel good around their energy. They have an outer compassion with integrity that treats everyone humanely and with respect. You can see future events with them and appreciate the experiences for the love it creates for all involved. You feel acceptance for who you are.
3. You have shared knowing and intuition.
You understand each other with just eye contact and a smile when you are in the same room.
You get future messages about them that come true, knowing when they are going to contact you right before they do. Your senses can feel when they might need emotional support before they ever ask.
4. You share life themes and challenges.
You’ve been through some of the same life tests and themes. You have empathy and compassion for each other that reaches a deeper understanding. It has meaning you found them in your lifetimes and recognized their light because it matched your own.
5. You trust them and you know and feel they trust and respect you.
These are people you trust. Even if they had to earn it by apologizing for something they’ve done, making good on their promise to be a better friend and person. They won’t judge a similar situation you have been in yourself and had to learn the lesson in the same way. You see the trueness inside their heart.
6. Your talents fit together
While one of you plays piano, the other one can sing the notes. When one of you dances backward, the other is in forward motion. You are in sync. You line up and everything makes sense, it flows.
7. You see the World in the same colors
You have many common threads in the lives you have led. You see humanity and the bigger picture together. Sharing religious, spiritual and even political beliefs, Kindred Spirits join the disciplines for common good and to synergize new realities.