If you’re a woman praised continuously for your ability to carry the world on your shoulders and make it look easy, this is for you! Back in the day, I considered that a compliment but I’ve learned I was working really from a generational deficit. I earned my supernatural emotional strength by carrying the weight of burdens designed for my husband, kids, friends, and parent instead of empowering them. I paid the price internally, however, and always running on empty. I entered emotional rehab in my forties, and at 52 I’m a lot better at saying no. I will always be a work in progress when it comes to my adult sons, however. As a mother, I want to prevent them from making the same mistakes that altered the course of my life, but I also know they need to grow through trials as I did. Most of the time, I manage to give my opinion only twice and then keep silent (it isn’t easy) while watching their life unfold like a movie. My youngest is pretty good in the decision making progress so I could sit back and enjoy popcorn while watching him autocorrect into a happy ending. The oldest is another story because of his Schizophrenia, and sometimes the movie is like a nightmare like it is now. Despite his mental health challenges, however, he’s capable of shouldering some of his own weight which I hand over in bits and pieces. At the end of the day, our children must learn to adult, mainly because we won’t be around forever. Just because women have the capacity to manage five lives at a time, doesn’t mean we should.