Jolt (F word used so refrain if it offends)

Jolt

I will be forever grateful for the thorough beat down my soul (and psyche) took during an early morning staffing session three years ago. It was one of those “WTF” mornings that you can’t just bounce back from. I average two drinks per year and by 5:30am, I was ready to hit Happy Hour!  Even though “reason” advised me to let the negative experience go, it was rehashed over and over again like a broken record and I allowed it to control the remainder of my day. I continuously played various scenarios out in my head as if I could go back in time and change the outcome. The good news is the experience jolted me right out of complacency, and into my destiny. I’d been in hibernation far too long.

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My immediate circle is always stunned when I share similar struggles to theirs that weigh me down. They view me as tenacious, always working towards a goal without being deterred by the complexities of life, like others they know. I’m human, and always suffer from an extended hibernation season that proceeds a decision. The harder the decision, the longer I marinate.  However, once I FINALLY make a decision, I give at 100% of my effort. It’s a waste of time if I don’t, and my time is limited. This day, however, was the day I decided to stop being afraid. I’d gotten divorced and any financial decision immobilized my fragile mind. I no longer had the back up income to save the day if all hell broke loose, and at times I feel like a “hell” magnet!

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“What if’s” hounded me at every turn, permeating me with doubts. Especially the “what if” making the wrong decision costs money that I couldn’t afford to lose. I lived in constant fear of not being able to pay my mortgage or take care of other emergencies if I didn’t choose the right option. Today my level of pissed-off-ness over-ruled my fear and changed the tune of my mental broken record.  Within one week I’d made a decision,  scheduled an appointment with an Advisor to learn about out my options for obtaining my Life Coach Certification, and enrolled in the program. I never looked back.  That particular jolt took a long time coming, but it was right on time. I began to stop living my fears and CHOSE to live my dreams! It’s a beautiful thing!

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