Red Bag Campaign!

Dsquared Homes For The Homeless unintentionally ignited a campaign for the homeless community. It all started with one bag ordered as a thank you for our secretary who lives in Texas. I initially ordered the keychain light for my first few supporters which unfortunately was considered a “package” by the post office and costs a ridiculous $3.74 to mail!!! That fact required a Plan B because I’d ordered 50! It’s redonkulous that I saved more money by ordering and shipping a specialty item, but it paid off in the end by creating quality relationships.  After posting a photo of the bag online, another board member thought it would be a great idea to request donations for the bags and deliver to the homeless. Given she didn’t have a car, my mind immediately translated that as more work for me and I initially said no. I had proudly decluttered my entire home and wasn’t about to backslide! Thankfully a strength is my ability to say no without guilt. I’ve learned YOUR idea shouldn’t be detrimental to MY peace.

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However, God worked on my heart as time went by, and supplied the answer while I was over in left field minding my business. IF the bags are no cost for us, possible now that we are tax exempt,  and we only request donations when we have bags, there’s less risk of reaching hoarder status. I split the cost with a friend, thinking not only is a worthy cause but it might also provide much-needed exposure as a new nonprofit. Unexpectedly, ALL twenty bags were gone within the first week! Supporters picked up bags to fill and return, others met me all over the planet with their donations. Marlene, the first to respond, filled her bag the same night and returned it the next day with an order of an additional eight for friends that saw her Facebook post. She also volunteered to run what I’ve dubbed the Bag Detail so that the program could continue. Apparently, it was meant to be!

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The last three days have been overwhelming with gifts and today was my third donation by a teenager!! I wasn’t expecting mini-me’s to be interested in making a difference in the lives of the less fortunate, based on today’s trend in society. All ages appear to be obsessed with either self or social media and relationships have diminished to text messages. Quality time now seems old school, even in families, and this trend is killing future generations. What we don’t discuss, like mental health issues (depression has become an epidemic and a silent killer) and even what healthy relationships look like, sends the uninformed online for answers. Social media a cesspool for the REAL fake news, and sadly, a comparison trip!

 

 

It’s an unexpected honor to spark change in an unexpected way. Not only in the lives of the mental health/homeless community but the younger generation who are desperately in need of role models! A thirteen-year-old donated today, and a fifteen-year-old created and manages our D-squared Pinterest account. Based on mom feedback, I’m creating a summer volunteer program for students! It’s a beautiful thing!

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Ruby Wax-What’s So Funny about Mental Illness!

The most important lesson learned since 2010, is not allowing my son’s walk with mental illness to control my life. I was definitely consumed the first four years of his diagnosis because I needed a crash course in mental health. I knew nothing about Schizophrenia, or that it ran in my family. He’s currently fighting his first relapse, but applying the lessons learned has made a difference for me in this chapter of his story. I’m fighting for him, but still living life in the process. Today’s share is a little bit of laughter for those in need!

My Morning Therapy: Thoughts on Dating and Mental Health

Mallet

Post-divorce I went on a heart strike, committing to singleness for the rest of eternity. It wasn’t because I believed good men didn’t exist, though I sang that song in my 20’s after a few situationships ended in emotional traumas. As I survived my choices, I matured into the knowledge that the only common denominator from the scar tissue was me. My picker was dysfunctional. I didn’t know how to fine tune it, so it was easier to just retire it. Which I did with a mallet just to ensure it wasn’t operational in the future.

Five years later, I came out of early retirement at age 50. It certainly wasn’t my idea, but sometimes the universe has other plans and I’was outvoted. I shared my dating experience through my blog, and it was interesting to see how popular online dating had become. At the same time, it was sad to see what it had diminished too. Relationships were now text messages and getting to know each other through conversations was old school. Something I never discussed in my dating experience is mental health and the dangers of dating. I watched it come full circle in a child support hearing yesterday. My son met a woman on Plenty Of Fish (though it could happen anywhere), and she manipulated her way into his heart, and his home. She came as a package deal, a three-year-old immediately accepted by my son. Although I knew something was off about her from the start, it eventually became evident as she shared her manic episodes on Facebook. She played my son like a harp and was a professional. However, she wasn’t the only one with secrets. He was a meal ticket and she isolated him from family. Note to men. When a woman keeps you away from your mother, she’s up to no good. A woman with good intentions will desire a relationship with his family.

My son was labeled Paranoid Schizophrenic in 2009. By the time they met, he had completed a 3-month stay in a mental institution and battled his way back from a psychotic break. He was working full-time and maintaining an apartment by the time they met. He never mentioned his diagnosis and she never mentioned hers, but no woman will ask her man if he thinks she is bi-polar. Our normal line is usually along the lines of whether our butt appears to be spreading. I suggested my son reveal his diagnosis while they were dating and warned that when women develop trust issues, it has a negative impact on the relationship. What I didn’t say, is that the emotionally unstable woman will seek revenge. Ruining his life becomes her mission statement. Not only has he lost everything he had, including his job and his dignity, but she was also an overachiever that decided to have a baby intentionally so she could also receive child support. Working wasn’t really her thing.

As I watched the sad scenario unfold in their court hearing yesterday, I couldn’t help thinking this is a great dating testimony of what happens when people don’t take time to get to know each other. Three years into living together, she finds out about his diagnosis by reading a school paper for his Psychology class. Already challenged with manic episodes, she went ballistic and today my son’s life is the result of his dating decisions. My next book will probably be titled Bipolar Meets Schizophrenia! Her vendetta dug four graves, including hers. My son lost his job, which meant he has no money for child support. Her anger flared in court when the judge granted child support but ordered two years of backpay to start immediately, at $10.00 per month. My mom used to say, “you can’t get blood out of a turnip!” A pathetic part of this story is that my son’s intention was always to support and be a part of his child’s life. Now he can’t even afford the $10!

Five lives are tarnished by her revenge, including two innocent lives caught in the middle. A child created for revenge forced her to compensate in a single parent household. Raising a healthy child alone comes with many challenges. Especially and the guilt of spending more time at work than with the child simply to support them. However, raising a child with serious medical issues is single parenting on steroids. My life was impacted because she blamed me for not keeping his secret and stalked me on social media and via text. I’ve had to change my number several times based on her threats and are always concerned she’ll bring her rampage to my front door. So many lives are impacted by a decision to date without taking the time to get to know each other. On my end, I’ve had to watch my son fall apart at the seams, and I have a two-year-old grandchild I’ve never seen, and not sure I ever will.

Who we date is one of the most important decisions of our lives and should not be taken lightly. A lot of women get caught up in the nice guy. Nice doesn’t equal ready, and dating potential is a disaster!

 

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If you know you are a complete package and have battled your demons (whatever they might be), don’t assume it’s you and don’t give up. We are simply up against a society that has so many options thanks to online dating that people literally get stuck on stupid and assume the person on the next page has more to offer so we don’t take time to get to know the person in front of us. I will date a person at least 5-6 times to ensure I’m not being overly picky but I know that person needs to be my mental, spiritual and emotional equal for this to work. Quality over quantity.

 

Nonprofit Opinion Request

I’m at the end phase of creating my nonprofit website, which is crazy in itself because I’m a tech mess! However, I’ve been known to vacate the comfort zone when I want something bad enough! Sure, it’s taken two weeks to put it together when it would have taken someone a few hours, but I’ve learned not to fall into the comparison trap! As a matter of fact, I’ve impressed myself in getting this far by raising funds on a Gofundme website! Once I hit financial freedom in 2015 (I drank the Dave Ramsey kool-aid!), I refused to go into debt ever again for any reason which required creative financing!

I’ve also learned when the vision is God’s (yes, I actually said the G word!), HE also sends the PRO-visions. I simply required the courage to start, and the discipline to keep working while waiting on my resources. It’s amazing how many dreams die simply because they “appeared” impossible, or because someone voiced a negative opinion. The reality is that their opinion really didn’t matter, your vision is only for you. My favorite Dave Ramsey quote is, “opinions are like armpits, everyone has one, and some of them stink!” 

However, I actually would love opinions tonight, if willing! 

Which tagline do you prefer and WHY?

1. Mental Health Reframed

Reframe

 

2. Mental Health Reimagined

 

 

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P.S. I’m also ISO a nonprofit mentor willing to guide my Board of Directors (experienced grant writers, both with Master’s Degrees) and I in the vision! We are aware of how huge the vision is, but don’t let that scare you! 

 

DSquared Homes For The Homeless-About Us

Today’s blog highlights my small but mighty Board of Directors! I’m always in search of families ready to fight back against the homelessness crisis in our mental health communities. Although I can feel the vibes from some I share my vision with, and aren’t receiving support from those I was sure I would, their disbelief isn’t my truth. I packed my first homeless kit in November of 2018 and still making weekly visits to my son’s car, where he’s lived since then. He was denied housing by Marc Community center because of a $40 income shortfall. I wasn’t allowed to contribute because I’m not the client (still smh). He deserves better and is the inspiration for my nonprofit venture and daily motivation! Life has always been a fistfight so this battle is nothing new, though slightly larger than I’m used too, lol…I’m acutely aware of the uphill battle, but my truth states every major change in history began with a vision of ONE.

I’m that ONE. While I know I can’t make major change alone, I ‘ll pick up supporters (from all states) on the uphill climb. How do I know? Statistical data. The numbers of forgotten voices are growing and some have family members, like myself, who are tired of watching our loved ones suffer. They will get pissed off into action (like I did) after realizing the government won’t come riding in like a knight in shining armor. I’ll be waiting. Change rests on the hands of communities and it’s simply a matter of time before someone is diagnosed with a condition or takes their life,  who is important enough to make someone to either donate to my cause or take action.

  • Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S.—43.8 million, or 18.5%—experiences mental illness in a given year.
  • Approximately 1 in 25 adults in the U.S.—9.8 million, or 4.0%—experiences a serious mental illness in a given year that substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life activities.2
  • Approximately 1 in 5 youth aged 13–18 (21.4%) experiences a severe mental disorder at some point during their life. For children aged 8–15, the estimate is 13%.3
  • 1.1% of adults in the U.S. live with schizophrenia.4
  • 2.6% of adults in the U.S. live with bipolar disorder.5
  • 6.9% of adults in the U.S.—16 million—had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.6
  • 18.1% of adults in the U.S. experienced an anxiety disorder such as posttraumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and specific phobias.7
  • Among the 20.2 million adults in the U.S. who experienced a substance use disorder, 50.5%—10.2 million adults—had a co-occurring mental illness.

 

 

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Juan Te Dailey-Founder
Advocate and mother of a homeless son diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia in 2009. Army Veteran with a B.S. Degree in Criminal Justice from Cal State Long Beach. Life Coach Certification received from the Southwest Institute of the Healing Arts (SWIHA) and 19-year employee of Dignity Health. Supporting member of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and certified instructor of their 12 Week Family to Family Program. Value is also added to the community as a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University Coordinator and a major accomplishment is reaching financial freedom in 2015 (7 years of working three jobs!) and graduating a son from Arizona State University with an Engineering Degree minus the student loan debt! (shameless plug).

Rechelle H-President
Degree in Business Management and a master’s degree in Alcohol/Drug studies and Program Administration. An experienced grant writer with many years of prevention programming, life skills training, community organizing, and program development experience.

 Seema R.
Analyst for Dignity health with an MBA from the University Of New Mexico. Her grant writing experience is from the University of New Mexico and Phoenix Children’s Hospital. She has shared there are 78 million homeless in her home country, and 11 million are children. 

Jennifer O.-VP Of Misc. Stuff
Office Coordinator diagnosed as SMI (Seriously Mental Ill) in 2014 after living in a homeless shelter for 1.5 years. She brings a wealth of experience to our TEAM as both Advocate and Client in the Mental Health Community

 Erin L.- Secretary
Mother and Financial Peace University Coordinator who supports us from Temple, Texas

 

How To Get Stuff Done When You Are Depressed/Tedtalk

Depression is the number 1 disability from young adults 15-24. Those numbers are only growing, which I believe has to do with the comparison trap incited by social media. We want to live like the Joneses, but we forget they only show the highlights of their lives, just like us. You don’t see the debt piling up as a result of vacations they couldn’t afford to take, or the unpaid car note as a result of the car lot seduction! Car salesman are highly skilled at talking us into purchases because we DESERVE them, even though we can’t AFFORD the maintenance! Because I’m a realist, learning how to function DESPITE depression seems like an unmet need in today’s culture. I personally can never have too many coping skills, so I hope you find the value that I did. Feel free to share your thoughts!