I was adrift on an ocean of helplessness for seasons before abruptly changing course. My sons were the life preservers needed, making me question all decisions made up to their existence. Their heartbeats compelled me to examine the faulty logic which caused me to initially drift off course in young adulthood. I’d given up on life, guilt and shame had bullied me into submission. I’d made poor choices and dysfunction made me believe I should suffer the consequences. It was, after all, what I deserved for acting (or reacting) without thinking. My punishment was cruel and unusual, a life sentence of hopelessness. It was impossible to change my circumstances.
I will be forever grateful that my boys ignited a wildfire inside of me. I can remain a victim of circumstances if I am the only one impacted by that decision. My children, however, did not deserve to suffer from my self-inflicted punishment. I found the courage to shift my mindset and gave all I had to changing my legacy, one day at a time. They were worth it, and along the journey I finally realized SO WAS I.
I used to be notorious for saying,”It’s Just The Way I Am”! Those six evil words create barriers between myself and my goals, no matter what they are. In fact, I would venture to say that the phrase is detrimental not only to my health, but they also limit growth within the areas I need it the most.
Relationships suffer and doors of opportunity close when I am unwilling to embrace the possibility that my ancient ways of thinking might require a tune-up. It took time, but I finally learned the value of constructive criticism. I now take the message from the mess and move on! It is no longer acceptable to say “it’s just the way I am”.
Dating is like an imaginary precipice, and I’ll leave it at that!